Posted on May 8th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you are in the unfortunate position of suspecting your partner of infidelity, you are probably hugely bothered by the uncertainty. You may have good reason to believe something is up but aren’t able to […]

Posted on May 3rd, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Any traumatic event a person experiences in a relationship can change how they feel or think about certain things. Being lied to by a romantic partner or getting your heart broken by your family’s words […]

Posted on April 3rd, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

While stress and anxiety are natural parts of the human condition, certain traumas or neurological dispositions can cause some people to struggle with these feelings beyond what is normal. And it seems like a lot […]

Posted on March 8th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Every couple goes through it. Some were expecting it, some get blindsided. But it is totally normal to find that once you have kids, your sex life just isn’t the same as it was before.  […]

Posted on February 9th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Relationships are hard, there’s no doubt about it. Many people find themselves asking, “how do I know if a relationship is right for me?” Most adults have been through at least one relationship in their […]

Posted on January 4th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

It’s crazy. You thought you knew your partner. You thought the relationship was in a decent place. Sure, you have your fights from time to time. But this? How could they have cheated on you? […]

Posted on December 6th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If your partner is causing conflict and strain in your relationship, it might seem as if they need therapy to fix whatever’s going on for them so you can have the relationship you’re hoping for […]

Posted on November 17th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In the previous two posts we considered the reasons for getting divorced as well as the ramifications. In this post we’ll take a look at the alternatives to getting divorced – i.e., options to consider […]

Posted on October 24th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In a recent post we opened up the topic of divorce and what some of the reasons might be to consider it. In this post we’ll consider what the consequences of divorce could be. As […]

Posted on September 5th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

The question of whether to end a marriage and seek a divorce is one of the hardest questions a person will ever have to face. It can be extremely difficult to weigh the pain you […]

Posted on August 1st, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Substance abuse is a major behavioral and mental health challenge for any person to face. And there is a whole separate set of challenges that their spouse or partner faces. People struggling with addiction need […]

Posted on July 7th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Your marriage is really, really important to you. And if it’s encountering some turbulence, you don’t want to put it in the hands of someone who doesn’t know how to help you get back on […]

Posted on June 2nd, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

You cheated on your partner. You feel terrible. Between the guilt, the fear of discovery, the anger at yourself, and the rest of the crazy feelings, you don’t want to go on with the secret. […]

Posted on May 5th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you’ve discovered that your partner has been having an affair, you may feel like your whole world has been rocked; your illusions have been shattered; your emotional life has been devastated. It is a heavy blow to bear, and for many people it spells the end of the relationship or marriage.

One of the hardest questions a person asks themselves when they find out about their partner’s infidelity is, “can he cheat and still love me?”

Posted on April 11th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Let’s look at how you can be supportive to a partner with erectile dysfunction:

1. Take yourself out of it
2. Get Informed
3. Ask Him What You Can Do
4. Talk About It
5. Encourage Him to Seek Professional Help
6. Engage in No-Pressure Physical Contact
7. Try Sex Anyway, and Have a Backup Plan
8. Don’t Give Up

Posted on February 7th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

How can you know if you and your partner are compatible? Read this post to find out what you need to know about choosing a partner for life.

Posted on January 6th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Before you buy something, you probably want to know whether it works. Fair question. You don’t want to buy an electric ab stimulator if it’s not going to work to tone you down to a […]

Posted on December 7th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

When discussing the Five Love Languages with people, every now and then someone poses the following challenge: why do I have to learn to give in the way my partner receives? Why can’t they learn […]

Posted on July 14th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

One of the most commonly visited pages on this website is, perhaps unexpectedly, the blog post from 2017 about the Love Language of “Acts of Service.” It seems people want to know not only what […]

Posted on July 6th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

There is a classic joke that advises newlyweds to put a penny in a jar every time they have sex in the first year of marriage, and then take a penny out every time after […]

Posted on June 7th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Divorce stinks. Even when it’s the best option, it’s still a bad option. And this is doubly so when there are kids involved. (Actually, that’s probably an understatement. A divorce with no children is painful; […]

Posted on May 5th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

At the end of the day, the decision whether to tell your family is up to you. It is wise to consider the pros and cons before making such a choice. Pros include family support and helpful outside perspectives. Cons include the ramifications for the future of your relationship, and the possibility of getting “help” you don’t want, including pressure and judgment, from your loved on.

Posted on April 6th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Okay, so you blew it. You stepped outside your relationship and had an affair. And you feel terrible about it. Now what? Do you tell your partner what happened? Move on and hope they never […]

Posted on March 4th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Sleeping in separate rooms (sometimes horrifically called a “sleep divorce”) is a hot topic these days. Is this normal? Is this okay? There are two approaches we need to consider in answering this question, depending […]

Posted on January 26th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

False. Well, that was easy, right? Okay, it’s a little more complicated than that. Life is not black and white. So let’s understand what we’re looking at here. For the purposes of this post I […]

Posted on December 22nd, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In a recent post we discussed how to listen in a way that improves communication and reduces arguments and fights. In this post we’ll talk about the other side of the equation, that is, how […]

Posted on November 11th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Do you ever feel frustrated that you’re trying to communicate something to your partner and they’re just not hearing you? Do you try to get your point across but find yourself sucked into arguments over […]

Posted on October 5th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

When two people share a child in common, the relationship between the two of them is hard to sever entirely. Certainly when the children are young there is a lot of physical care that goes […]

Posted on July 22nd, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Infidelity is as old as the institutions it violates. Many, many people throughout history have been hurt by a partner’s choice to step outside the boundaries of their relationship. Understandably, many betrayed partners are plagues […]

Posted on June 26th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Have you thought about going for marriage counseling, but can’t figure out how to bring it up with your spouse? Or maybe you’ve brought it up with them, but they haven’t been interested? This is […]

Posted on May 25th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

I frequently get calls from people who are unhappy in their marriage and are looking for some professional help, but their spouse just isn’t interested. I want to address some of the most common objections […]

Posted on May 4th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you are an avid reader of this blog, you already know that the three most important words in a marriage are not “I was wrong” – they’re actually “help me understand.” (Check out the […]

Posted on March 26th, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

These are definitely challenging times. COVID-19 has us cooped up in a serious way, and many of us are dealing with any number of other problems, including employment, schooling, and possibly health. Your marriage is […]

Posted on March 2nd, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you’re really old school, you may be thinking that the title of this post refers to the quaint, genuine, and meaningful “I love you.” If you’re a little more modern, perhaps you’ve heard that […]

Posted on May 30th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

One of the most read posts on this blog is where I talk about Is It Okay for Married People to Watch Porn? Recently a commenter asked the following question: What about marriage counselors that […]

Posted on April 15th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Is your relationship struggling, and couples therapy didn’t help? What else can you do about it? One answer is – try couples counseling again. Here’s why.

Posted on February 19th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

How often do normal couples have sex?  As frequently or infrequently as they want. This question is erroneously based on the idea that there is some number, or even a range, that we have to […]

Posted on January 29th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

There are many couples therapy techniques you can try out on your own. Here are a few you can start with today!

Posted on October 29th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Crushed. Devastated. Hopeless. These are some of the emotions you may be experiencing if you have recently discovered that your partner has been having an affair.

Posted on October 8th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Recently I had the great pleasure of going to an escape room for a bit of family fun. If you’re not familiar,

Posted on September 5th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Can it really be so simple? Is there really a Single Most Important key to relationships?  Yes and no.  Obviously there is no magic spell for fixing relationship problems or keep relationships vibrant and connected […]

Posted on July 19th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Most people have never been to therapy before and are understandably a bit nervous about what the first therapy session going to be like.  If you’ve gotten up the courage to make that first appointment, […]

Posted on June 6th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you’ve never been to relationship counseling before, the whole thing might seem mysterious, confusing, and downright frightening. The truth is it’s really not as bad as you think it is. The representations of therapy […]

Posted on May 8th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Recently I was interviewed on the radio to discuss the question of how to prioritize your relationship with your spouse vs. your kids. You can listen to the 20-minute segment here. Here’s the spoiler: I […]

Posted on March 14th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Are you trying to save a marriage that’s on the rocks?  Hoping to turn things around from anger and resentment to happiness and love?  It can be done.  Most marriages can be repaired if both […]

Posted on February 20th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Texting is a very wonderful thing.  It allows us to send quick ideas and comments to our friends and families without having to catch each other at the right time.  It’s great for adding to […]

Posted on January 30th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Although there are arguably some pros to pornography viewing as a part of your sex life, there are a number of cons that must be considered as well.

Posted on January 10th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you are considering seeing a couples counselor/marriage therapist to address a problem in your relationship, there are a few things it’s vital for you to know before you jump in. 1. Be prepared to […]

Posted on December 27th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In these days of constant change and mobility, long-distance relationships are increasingly common and necessary as people take jobs and pursue life goals that move them about the globe. There’s no question that a long-distance […]

Posted on December 11th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

All relationships have ups and downs. Some seem to have more downs than others. A relationship that’s on the rocks can often be fixed with commitment on the part of both partners and with professional […]

Posted on September 18th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Anger is one of the major destroyers of relationships. People can say and do things when they are angry that are offensive, hurtful, even downright mean. But anger is a normal part of the human […]

Posted on August 10th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Arguments are a natural part of any relationship. No two people will agree on everything all the time. Disagreements are bound to happen. Slight offenses are inevitable.  But how do you deal with them in […]

Posted on July 13th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Many people believe that infidelity unavoidably spells the end of a relationship.  However, the truth is that many relationships survive the injury of an affair, and in fact many get much better in the aftermath.  […]

Posted on June 29th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Check out this review of our practice picked up by Inside Business Weekly!  You’ll see why we’re considered the place for the best couples therapy and how we can help you achieve the relationship you’re […]

Posted on May 8th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

All too frequently, the couples I see in my office for marriage counseling/couples therapy are at the end of their rope.  There has been trouble in the relationship for a long time; months, years, or […]

Posted on April 24th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Okay, so, we’ve talked a lot about the different Love Languages. But how do you know which is yours? Below we’ll discuss a couple of ways you can try to determine which language fits you […]

Posted on March 20th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

The last of the Five Love Languages is Physical Touch.  This one is in some ways very easy and in some ways very hard. It’s very easy because it’s pretty clear what we’re referring to […]

Posted on March 6th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

The fourth of the Five Love Languages® is called Acts of Service.  For some people, actions indeed speak louder than words. Of course, just as with Words of Affirmation you can’t speak nicely while neglecting […]

Posted on February 21st, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

The third Love Language is Receiving Gifts.  This one is easy to grasp, but it sometimes gets a bad rap because to some people it smacks of materialism.  In fact, a person whose Love Language […]

Posted on February 9th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In the last post I described the love language of Words of Affirmation.  The second language is called Quality Time, and you probably have a fair idea what that’s about without needing much a definition.  […]

Posted on January 24th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Words of Affirmation is the first of the love languages described in Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages system. For people whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation, it’s what you say that counts.  This […]

Posted on January 9th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

The Five Love Languages® is a great tool for improving relationships, whether you’re at the beginning of a new relationship or you’ve been married for decades.  It is a very simple and understandable method of […]

Posted on December 7th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Following up on our last post, let’s talk a bit about what possible red flags to look out for when searching for a therapist in Baltimore or anywhere else.  Unfortunately, as we mentioned last time, […]

Posted on November 15th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

So you’re looking for a therapist in Baltimore.  Maybe you typed “Baltimore therapist” into Google and it sent you here.  But how do you find the right “Baltimore therapist” for you?  What goes in to […]

Posted on November 3rd, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

This is a question I get asked all the time. How long will it take?  How many sessions do people usually need?  People rightly want to know how much time and money they will be […]

Posted on October 10th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

What is couples counseling? Couples counseling goes by various names: couples therapy, marriage counseling, marital therapy, relationship counseling, and more. These are all ways of framing the same process, namely, trying to help a couple […]

Posted on October 5th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Ever find yourself in a situation where a fight is brewing and you know it’s coming but don’t know how to avoid it?  Check out this link for a post explaining just that. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-stop-fight-with-your-partner-before-it-starts-1004164

Posted on July 27th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you’ve just discovered your boyfriend or husband watching porn online – perhaps extensively – you may be feeling shock, anger, disappointment, betrayal, and more.  You also may be confused about what this means for […]

Posted on July 19th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Call today : 443-598-2821 (you can text us too!) Getting started on the process of therapy isn’t easy.  Especially if you’ve never done it before, you might be a little bit confused or nervous about […]

Posted on July 12th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Check out this recent article for which I was interviewed by ABC staff: http://www.abc2news.com/bachelor/millennial-love-one-right-swipe-at-a-time It discusses modern dating and how technology has made a significant change in the dating landscape.  There’s no question that Tinder, […]

Posted on June 27th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

I’ve noticed that a lot of requests for help that come through e-mail, text, or sites like Thumbtack.com list “save my marriage” as the reason for seeking help. So I thought I’d let you know […]

Posted on May 31st, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

When someone has an affair and is discovered or comes clean on their own, their instinct is often to soften the blow and/or minimize the damage, especially if they still care about their partner and […]

Posted on March 14th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Every now and then I hear about a “great new therapy” that promises fast results and lasting change (often after a single session or treatment). I am highly skeptical of such approaches and I encourage […]

Posted on February 22nd, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

I have a new catchphrase: To make your marriage last, make your marriage first. I’m pretty sure I invented it, and Google seems to agree. (So does Bing!) So you heard it here first, folks. […]

Posted on February 13th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Many people seek out counseling to help them answer the nagging question: “Why can’t I find the right person for me?” Being single can be a real drag, especially as you get older and watch […]

Posted on February 4th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Check out our latest article about getting your marriage back into shape, on Marriage.com!  This article highlights a positive-psychology based approach to making changes for the better in your marriage. A Novel Way to Fix […]

Posted on January 27th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

The last piece I’m going to post on the topic of why a good marriage is the best gift we can give to ours kids is probably the simplest: 4. It’s just nicer to live […]

Posted on January 11th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Continuing on in our exploration of why a good marriage is so vital to your childrearing endeavors, here is reason #3: 3. They’ll do as you do. Jimmy’s parents were called into school, where Jimmy […]

Posted on December 28th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In the last post, I opened up the topic of why a good marriage is good parenting and discussed the issue of household stability. Here is reason #2 that the best gift you can give […]

Posted on December 20th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

When I get a call from parents seeking help with problems with their children, it is not uncommon that a large portion of the work actually needs to happen with the parents themselves. Unrealistic expectations, […]

Posted on December 10th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

A common dynamic that I encounter in doing marriage counseling is that one partner will want to convince the other of some aspect of him/herself and get frustrated/angry/hopeless when they can’t seem to do so. […]

Posted on October 19th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In the short video below, renowned relationships researcher John Gottman discusses recent findings on the science of trust.  Significantly, he explains that betrayal is not the opposite of trust, and that one of the key […]

Posted on October 8th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

I recently worked with a couple that came in with a serious break in their relationship.  They were pretty despairing and didn’t know how to handle the problem.  I give them a lot of credit […]

Posted on September 24th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In the wake of the Ashley Madison leak, I got a lot of questions from friends and colleagues about the extent of the infidelity problem in America (at least, for those who consider it a […]

Posted on September 1st, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Hooray! We’re listed as the #1 marriage and family counselor in Baltimore on Thumbtack.com! https://www.thumbtack.com/md/baltimore/marriage-and-family-counselors/ Contact us today for help with all kinds of relationship issues, including: dating marriage infidelity/cheating breakups trust communication conflict resolution […]

Posted on August 23rd, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

At the Baltimore Therapy Center we frequently get calls that begin like this: “Hi, I’m looking for marriage counseling. Do you take Blue Cross Blue Shield?” While the short answer is yes, there’s unfortunately a […]

Posted on August 6th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Check out our latest article on the Maryland Addiction Recovery Center‘s guest blog! http://www.marylandaddictionrecovery.com/boundaries-inside-and-out

Posted on July 31st, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Many clients call up for the first time wanting to know what couples counseling will be like. No doubt there is a nervousness there about starting a process that you don’t know much about. In […]

Posted on July 24th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

This is a great relationship buzzword that gets thrown around a lot.  What does it do for us?  Check out this short video to see why we think helping couples develop their communication skills is […]

Posted on July 1st, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Everyone has things they want and need out of the relationships they are in. Most people recognize that aggressive behavior is not a good way to get those things while maintaining the relationship at the […]

Posted on May 11th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Do you ever argue with your significant other about who said what and when in which place?  Yes, of course you do. We all do. People are imperfect and our memories are imperfect. They are […]

Posted on April 22nd, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Check out our new video about one of our unique specialties – helping adults manage their relationships with their own parents!  We hear a lot of complaints about this kind of issue out in the […]

Posted on March 29th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Here’s a helpful, if not entirely novel, article published by Scientific American on bettering one’s marriage.  I guess there’s a science to it after all! http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-be-a-better-spouse/ Learn more about our online and in-person marriage counseling […]

Posted on March 19th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

I recently came across this article by Laura Doyle entitled “6 Reasons Marriage Counseling is BS.”  While I actually found myself agreeing with many of the author’s comments on marriage, I obviously disagree strongly with […]

Posted on March 11th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

I thought that this article about sex in marriage was really worth sharing.  The basic premise is that sex in marriage is something you have to work at (like marriage itself, of course).  When you […]

Posted on February 8th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Another guest post I wrote on a friend’s blog has generated some interesting conversation.  See the article and subsequent comments at https://incensefromthealtar.wordpress.com/2015/02/05/the-importance-of-listening. Learn more about our couples counseling services here.

Posted on February 2nd, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

A guest post of mine on a friend’s weight loss blog: http://weightlosscounterrevolution.com/2015/01/30/the-impact-of-family-on-weight-loss/ Learn more about our family therapy services here.

Posted on January 23rd, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Here’s another article I wrote on managing a relationship after an affair – this one directed at the cheater: https://www.wellness.com/blog/13274483/how-to-recover-from-an-affair-when-you-re-the-cheater/raffi-bilek Learn more about our work with couples and infidelity here.

Posted on January 11th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

As you may have guessed, I am a big believer in marital therapy/couples counseling. I think it is helpful for a lot of people, and I think many folks would be much happier if they […]

Posted on December 15th, 2014 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

An affair is often thought of as a death blow to a marriage –the worst thing that could possibly happen to the relationship, from which there can be no recovery. The truth is that a […]