101 Examples of Acts of Service (Love Language Redux)

101 Examples of Acts of Service (Love Language Redux)

Posted on July 14th, 2021 by Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

examples of acts of service One of the most commonly visited pages on this website is, perhaps unexpectedly, the blog post from 2017 about the Love Language of “Acts of Service.” It seems people want to know not only what this is about (see previous posts for a deeper treatment of Acts of Service and Love Languages in general), but also what counts as an Act of Service.

Fortunately, there are many of them, and for those in need, I’m going to go ahead and list a whole bunch of examples of Acts of Service you can do today! I would be happy to hear what else you’ve tried or thought of trying in the comments below.

Without further ado, 101 Acts of Service you can do for your partner, listed more or less in chronological order of a day in the life:

  1. Squeeze the toothpaste up to the top so your partner doesn’t have to.
  2. taking care of your partnerPrepare their toothbrush for them with just the right amount of toothpaste.
  3. Find out what their favorite toothpaste is (I like cinnamon!) and make sure there’s an extra tube.
  4. Organize the sink area so it’s not such a frickin’ mess.
  5. Organize the medicine cabinet.[1]
  6. Wipe down the mirror.
  7. Replace the empty toilet paper roll.
  8. Make sure there’s an extra roll of toilet paper for when both of you forget to replace the empty one.
  9. Find a book your partner would enjoy reading and leave it for them in the bathroom.
  10. Make sure there’s a clean, dry towel hanging in the bathroom.
  11. Men – put down the toilet seat!!!
  12. Refill the bottle of hand soap.
  13. Make the bed.
  14. Change the sheets as needed.
  15. Fluff your partner’s pillow.
  16. Make them breakfast.
  17. Put away the stuff you used to make breakfast with.
  18. Make them breakfast and put away the stuff you used to make breakfast with.
  19. Make them breakfast, put away the stuff you used to make breakfast with and do the dishes afterwards.
  20. Refill the salt shaker.
  21. Make them a hot cup of coffee the way they like it.[2]make your spouse a coffe
  22. Pour them a cup of juice.
  23. Bring them their daily vitamins/medications.
  24. Prepare lunch for them to take to work.
  25. Fill their water bottle up with cold water for the day.
  26. Clear the trash out of their car.
  27. Wash their car for them (or take it to a carwash).
  28. Fill their car up with gas.
  29. Change the oil.
  30. Take their car in for its regular maintenance visit.
  31. Keep track of when those maintenance visits need to happen.
  32. Take the car to the shop when something isn’t working right.
  33. Check the tire pressure from time to time.fix your partner's car
  34. If they usually walk or bike to work, give them a ride on a rainy day.
  35. Change the light bulb that’s been burnt out for weeks.
  36. Unclog the toilet.
  37. Fix something that’s broken in the house.
  38. Call a repairman to fix what you messed up while trying to fix something that’s broken in the house.
  39. Defrag their computer.
  40. Run a virus scan.
  41. Check their inbox for spam emails and unsubscribe from them. (Be sure it’s really junk though!)[3]
  42. Dust the computer area.
  43. share the choresVacuum the rug.
  44. Mop the floor.
  45. Clean the bathroom.
  46. Clean the mirrors around the house.
  47. Organize the pantry.
  48. Dust off the ceiling fans. (You’d be surprised how gross they get.)
  49. Do the laundry.
  50. Fold the laundry.
  51. Put away the laundry.
  52. Take clothes to the dry cleaner.
  53. Pick up clothes from the dry cleaner.
  54. Pack their suitcase up for the upcoming trip. (Don’t forget to pack extra socks. You never know when you’re going to get a little sweaty.
  55. Water the plants.
  56. Pick up shoes and clothes strewn around the house.
  57. Clear stuff off the sofa.
  58. Arrange the sofa pillows.
  59. Keep the kitchen stocked with the basics – eggs, milk, bread, etc.
  60. Make sure there’s a backup box of their favorite cereal/snack bars/coffee.
  61. Shop for groceries.
  62. Put away the groceries.
  63. Go to the neighbor to ask for a cup of sugar when you discover you forgot to buy some.
  64. Run out to the grocery store when your partner realizes they’re missing an ingredient from the recipe they are in the middle of making.
  65. Do the dishes in the sink.
  66. Load the dishwasher.
  67. Unload the dishwasher.
  68. Clean out the fridge.
  69. Clean out the toaster’s crumb tray.
  70. Wipe down the microwave.
  71. Take out the trash/recycling.
  72. Replace the trash bag.
  73. Walk the dog.walk the dog
  74. Refill the food/water bowl.
  75. Clean out pet cages/litter box/aquarium.
  76. Mow the lawn.
  77. Clean up the yard.
  78. Bring in packages from the front door.
  79. Unpack said packages.
  80. Break down the boxes and put them in the recycling bin.
  81. Take care of the Amazon returns.
  82. Bring in the mail.
  83. Pay the bills.
  84. Prepare a snack for when they get home.
  85. Take the kid(s) out so your partner can have some quiet time to rest/get some work done.
  86. Cook dinner.
  87. Open the windows when you burn dinner because you got distracted by the kids.
  88. Turn off the smoke alarm.
  89. Speaking of which, replace the batteries on the smoke alarms around the house.
  90. Order takeout.
  91. Brush the kids’ teeth.[4]
  92. Bathe the kids.
  93. Change some diapers.
  94. Get ‘em in pajamas.
  95. Put them to sleep (without using Benadryl).
  96. Clean the dog poop off the kids’ shoes.
  97. Pick up toys around the house.
  98. Turn off lights around the house.
  99. Lock the doors.
  100. Turn on the house alarm.
  101. Wake up with the baby in the middle of the night.

wake up with the baby

There you have it! 101 ways you can begin right now to show love to your Acts-of-Service-oriented partner. So what are you waiting for? Get cracking! And also, share with the rest of us other ideas you’ve come up with in the comments below!

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[1] Note that to really get credit for an act of service, you have to do it (mostly) right. On one hand, it’s the thought that counts; but on the other hand, if you “organize” the cabinet in such a way that your partner can’t find their skin cream or denture paste or whatever, you haven’t really succeeded in making a positive impact in their life.
[2] If you don’t know how they like it, you’ve got some work to do.
[3] Acts of service don’t have to be a surprise. Ask them before getting rid of something potentially important!
[4] A note about the childcare items on this list: people (usually women) do not tend to think of their partner’s performing childcare behaviors as an act of service. I encourage these people to open their minds to the possibility that this in fact a loving gesture towards one’s partner. Many people (usually men) explicitly feel that they are doing right by their partner when they change a diaper, read a book to the baby, etc. The fact that childcare is their responsibility doesn’t have to take away from that fact. Of course I “have to” change the baby’s diaper. But if I feel in my heart that I am giving to my wife as I do it, then it is an act of love and can be received as such. More on this perhaps in a future post.

 

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