Blog on 5th May, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you are in a relationship where your spouse or partner has cheated on you, you no doubt have a lot you are dealing with. Infidelity in a relationship can cause tremendous pain and conflict […]

Blog on 6th April, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Okay, so you blew it. You stepped outside your relationship and had an affair. And you feel terrible about it. Now what? Do you tell your partner what happened? Move on and hope they never […]

Blog on 26th January, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

False. Well, that was easy, right? Okay, it’s a little more complicated than that. Life is not black and white. So let’s understand what we’re looking at here. For the purposes of this post I […]

Blog on 22nd July, 2020 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Infidelity is as old as the institutions it violates. Many, many people throughout history have been hurt by a partner’s choice to step outside the boundaries of their relationship. Understandably, many betrayed partners are plagues […]

Blog on 22nd July, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In our last post I offered some ideas on how parents can go about reconnecting with adult children who have become distant and disconnected. In this post I’d like to talk a bit more about […]

Blog on 29th October, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Crushed. Devastated. Hopeless. These are some of the emotions you may be experiencing if you have recently discovered that your partner has been having an affair.

Blog on 27th July, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you’ve just discovered your boyfriend or husband watching porn online – perhaps extensively – you may be feeling shock, anger, disappointment, betrayal, and more.  You also may be confused about what this means for […]

Blog on 31st May, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

When someone has an affair and is discovered or comes clean on their own, their instinct is often to soften the blow and/or minimize the damage, especially if they still care about their partner and […]

Blog on 10th December, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

A common dynamic that I encounter in doing marriage counseling is that one partner will want to convince the other of some aspect of him/herself and get frustrated/angry/hopeless when they can’t seem to do so. […]

Blog on 19th October, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In the short video below, renowned relationships researcher John Gottman discusses recent findings on the science of trust.  Significantly, he explains that betrayal is not the opposite of trust, and that one of the key […]

Blog on 24th September, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In the wake of the Ashley Madison leak, I got a lot of questions from friends and colleagues about the extent of the infidelity problem in America (at least, for those who consider it a […]

Blog on 23rd January, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Here’s another article I wrote on managing a relationship after an affair – this one directed at the cheater: https://www.wellness.com/blog/13274483/how-to-recover-from-an-affair-when-you-re-the-cheater/raffi-bilek Learn more about our work with couples and infidelity here.

Blog on 15th December, 2014 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

An affair is often thought of as a death blow to a marriage –the worst thing that could possibly happen to the relationship, from which there can be no recovery. The truth is that a […]

Blog on 8th October, 2014 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

It is commonly thought that adultery is a certain death blow to a marriage. After all, what could possibly do more injury to a relationship than an affair? It strikes us as the worst thing […]

Blog on 3rd September, 2014 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Many people aren’t sure how to answer this question. When a married man is sending inappropriate text messages to another woman (or vice versa), does that “count” as an affair? The answer is really a […]