Don’t Start Couples Counseling Before You Read This!

marriage counseling hi
If you are considering seeing a couples counselor/marriage therapist to address a problem in your relationship, there are a few things it’s vital for you to know before you jump in. 1. Be prepared to change Many people come in to couples therapy feeling like their spouse or partner is causing the problem.  They ask their therapist, sometimes explicitly and sometimes implicitly, to “fix” their partner.  But more often than not, both parties will have to do some changing to make a difference in the problem.  Importantly, this is often true even when one of you is objectively doing something wr...
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Are You in An Abusive Relationship?

abusive relationship hi
All relationships have ups and downs. Some seem to have more downs than others. A relationship that’s on the rocks can often be fixed with commitment on the part of both partners and with professional counseling.  However, some relationships are abusive, and these cannot be repaired until the abusive partner decides to change his or her ways. However, since abusers often bring a strong sense of entitlement to the relationship, they rarely look at themselves as doing anything wrong and therefore rarely take stock of their own views and behaviors. If you are the victim in an abusive relations...
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New book!

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For those interested in the topic of domestic violence, a book has recently come out in which I contributed a chapter. The book's intent is to help mental health/social service practitioners become culturally competent in working with clients of various religious backgrounds. Check it out here!  
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When Is Couples Counseling a Bad Idea?

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As you may have guessed, I am a big believer in marital therapy/couples counseling. I think it is helpful for a lot of people, and I think many folks would be much happier if they sought it out. However, there is an important exception to this claim, a situation in which couples counseling is not recommended, and that is in a case where there is active domestic violence going on. The reason for this is that in such a situation, experience and common sense tell us that joint therapy puts the victim is at greater risk for abuse. Couples therapy depends on open communication between the three ...
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