Emergency Marriage Counseling in Baltimore

Some couples play with the idea of going to couples counseling for weeks, months, or years before actually taking the plunge. And others are plunged into a catastrophic situation where they need emergency marriage counseling – ASAP.

We get it. At the Baltimore Therapy Center we provide emergency marriage counseling in Baltimore and the surrounding areas for those terrible situations you never want to find yourself in. We can often (not always) get people in the same day, or within a very short time frame.

What kinds of situations lead to that “emergency marriage counseling near me” search? Let’s take a look at some of the common crises we help with that you might (unfortunately) find yourself in (whether you're married or not).

Infidelity

The most common issue that leads to calls for emergency couples counseling is the discovery of infidelity. This can happen when one partner finds text messages or DMs on social media that are clearly over the line (think explicit photos, or references to past or future sexual encounters), or even just mildly or moderately inappropriate, such as liking someone else’s sexy photos on Instagram or flirtatious messages back and forth.

It can also come up when the person who has cheated decides to confess. Either way, it is natural for the revelation to launch a major marital crisis.

The person who’s been cheated on can react in many ways. Sometimes they choose to walk out and end the relationship then and there. Sometimes they take some time to process and digest the information, and/or they try to work it out on their own as a couple.

But many people also – wisely, in my opinion – reach out immediately for support and guidance. (We’ve literally gotten calls from clients immediately after the revelation of an affair.)

Infidelity, of course, certainly counts as an emergency for many people. If this is your situation, whether you found out recently or a while ago, getting couples counseling for infidelity is highly recommended.

Other breaches of trust

There are, regrettably, many ways that trust can be broken in a relationship. Another common emergency marriage counseling situation is when there is a discovery/disclosure of financial infidelity. That occurs when one partner finds out that the other one has been keeping a lid on some very significant financial information. Some examples might be when your partner:

• has a very large debt they never told you about.

• has been taking money from your bank account without telling you.

• has used up your savings to pay for expenses you did not agree to.

• has a gambling addiction and has spent large sums of money on gambling.

This intersects with another serious breach of trust, namely, an undisclosed addiction, whether that is to gambling, drugs, alcohol, or (back to infidelity) sex/porn.

Less common are other major secrets that haven’t been disclosed, such as:

• being still married to a previous partner.

• having a child from another relationship.

• a marriage license that was faked (i.e., the couple is not in fact legally married) or a ring that was (knowingly) not a real diamond.

Any major breach of trust can lead to a crisis and a need for emergency couples counseling. (There are of course infinite ways someone can break your trust; generally speaking, though, people don’t tend to call for emergency counseling if, for example, their spouse promised to call on their way home but then didn’t.)

An explosive fight

Sometimes couples recognize that their relationship is not in a good place, but they kind of just carry on for any number of (very understandable reasons). That might include:

• Lack of time

• Lack of commitment

• Financial concerns

• Lack of buy-in from your spouse

• Believing you can “fix it” on your own

So the relationship deteriorates, with fights becoming more frequent, more common, and more painful.

Then things come to a head with a massive, explosive fight, and the couple realizes that they really need help to turn things around in their marriage – and they need it fast. They’ve reached the end of their rope and it feels totally urgent to finally address the problems they haven’t been working on and call up a couples counselor.

Alternatively, a couple might believe their marriage is in a decent place, with not a lot of fighting and few apparent problems, but perhaps little connection or intimacy either. And then something finally explodes and all the issues burst out into the open in such a disastrous fight that they seek help immediately.

Someone walks out

Another version of the above situation is where the tipping point isn’t a giant fight but rather someone just throwing in the towel. After all the previous fights, the miscommunications, the anger and the loneliness and the frustration, someone finally walks out on the marriage and says they’re calling it quits.

Sometimes they mean it and nothing can change their mind. Other times there’s still hope to save the marriage, especially if couples counseling hasn’t been tried before. (In some cases couples have tried multiple couples counselors already and they are unfortunately fed up with the process. Other times they’ve only tried it once – in which case I strongly recommend trying couples counseling again. There are many different approaches; you may just need to find the one that works for you.)

The reaction to a spouse leaving can vary greatly. Some partners have been basically waiting for the shoe to drop; others are totally blindsided, having failed to see (often despite their partner’s repeated attempts to show them) how bad the condition of their marriage had been.

In this case, it’s usually the one who got left behind that’s reaching out, whether with or without the knowledge of the one who left. Sometimes it’s successful in getting their spouse to the table; sadly, sometimes by that time it’s genuinely too late.

Major life event

Another situation that can cause a need for emergency couples counseling is when the couple is not even at odds, but are facing an extremely difficult situation together. Common examples might be:

• Loss of a job (especially when finances have already been an issue)

• Threat of deportation

• A death in the family (especially of a child, and especially in cases of child suicide)

• Miscarriages or children born with birth defects

All of these situations are obviously extremely stressful, and are liable to strain even the best marriages. Any cracks in the relationship are magnified under this kind of pressure, and it’s easy to turn the stress and negativity against each other. Moreover, differences of opinion in how to handle the situation can blow up significantly in the wake of such an event.

But even when spouses agree on what’s at stake or what to do, it’s natural to need extra support, whether individually or as a team, when life happens in a big way.

Getting Emergency Marriage Counseling in Baltimore

Getting the help you need on the spot isn’t always easy. Many therapists don’t answer their phones, don’t respond to messages quickly, don’t offer other ways of reaching them – and even if you do reach them, they may not have openings for weeks or months.

I’ll be honest. We can’t guarantee that we’ll get you an appointment that day every single time. But we sure will try – and often we’re successful. You can call us, email us, text us, and we’ll do our best to get back to you ASAP.

We know that when there’s a crisis, you can’t afford to get on a waitlist. You want help right away.

I hope we can be there for you when you need it.