Posted on March 8th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Every couple goes through it. Some were expecting it, some get blindsided. But it is totally normal to find that once you have kids, your sex life just isn’t the same as it was before.  […]

Posted on February 9th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Relationships are hard, there’s no doubt about it. Many people find themselves asking, “how do I know if a relationship is right for me?” Most adults have been through at least one relationship in their […]

Posted on January 4th, 2023 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

It’s crazy. You thought you knew your partner. You thought the relationship was in a decent place. Sure, you have your fights from time to time. But this? How could they have cheated on you? […]

Posted on May 5th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you’ve discovered that your partner has been having an affair, you may feel like your whole world has been rocked; your illusions have been shattered; your emotional life has been devastated. It is a heavy blow to bear, and for many people it spells the end of the relationship or marriage.

One of the hardest questions a person asks themselves when they find out about their partner’s infidelity is, “can he cheat and still love me?”

Posted on April 11th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Let’s look at how you can be supportive to a partner with erectile dysfunction:

1. Take yourself out of it
2. Get Informed
3. Ask Him What You Can Do
4. Talk About It
5. Encourage Him to Seek Professional Help
6. Engage in No-Pressure Physical Contact
7. Try Sex Anyway, and Have a Backup Plan
8. Don’t Give Up

Posted on January 6th, 2022 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Before you buy something, you probably want to know whether it works. Fair question. You don’t want to buy an electric ab stimulator if it’s not going to work to tone you down to a […]

Posted on July 6th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

There is a classic joke that advises newlyweds to put a penny in a jar every time they have sex in the first year of marriage, and then take a penny out every time after […]

Posted on April 6th, 2021 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Okay, so you blew it. You stepped outside your relationship and had an affair. And you feel terrible about it. Now what? Do you tell your partner what happened? Move on and hope they never […]

Posted on May 30th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

One of the most read posts on this blog is where I talk about Is It Okay for Married People to Watch Porn? Recently a commenter asked the following question: What about marriage counselors that […]

Posted on February 19th, 2019 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

How often do normal couples have sex?  As frequently or infrequently as they want. This question is erroneously based on the idea that there is some number, or even a range, that we have to […]

Posted on June 6th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you’ve never been to relationship counseling before, the whole thing might seem mysterious, confusing, and downright frightening. The truth is it’s really not as bad as you think it is. The representations of therapy […]

Posted on January 30th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Although there are arguably some pros to pornography viewing as a part of your sex life, there are a number of cons that must be considered as well.

Posted on January 10th, 2018 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you are considering seeing a couples counselor/marriage therapist to address a problem in your relationship, there are a few things it’s vital for you to know before you jump in. 1. Be prepared to […]

Posted on March 20th, 2017 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

The last of the Five Love Languages is Physical Touch.  This one is in some ways very easy and in some ways very hard. It’s very easy because it’s pretty clear what we’re referring to […]

Posted on July 27th, 2016 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

If you’ve just discovered your boyfriend or husband watching porn online – perhaps extensively – you may be feeling shock, anger, disappointment, betrayal, and more.  You also may be confused about what this means for […]

Posted on April 18th, 2016 By Caitlin Chana Hill

Why a post on therapy for women?  Is therapy somehow different for women than for men?  Do they face different issues? The answer is yes and no. Certainly the problems we help clients with are […]

Posted on September 24th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

In the wake of the Ashley Madison leak, I got a lot of questions from friends and colleagues about the extent of the infidelity problem in America (at least, for those who consider it a […]

Posted on March 24th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

A friend of mine passed these along to me – coloring pages to be used in discussing sexual abuse with your children.  Check them out at http://themamabeareffect.org/coloring-pages.html. I think they are fantastic!  This can really […]

Posted on March 11th, 2015 By Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

I thought that this article about sex in marriage was really worth sharing.  The basic premise is that sex in marriage is something you have to work at (like marriage itself, of course).  When you […]